We had the pleasure to interview Jaseena. Jaseena Backer is a consultant of human behaviour and family welfare; touching upon lives through relationship management.
She is a Parenting Strategist, Writer, Speaker, Psychologist, Gender Expert and a Corporate Trainer. With her background in psychology she touches upon relationships and their intricacies in leadership. Her workshops and training programmes are custom made to suit the organizational climate as well as individual wellness. Read on to learn more about her.
1. Tell us about yourself and your career
I am Jaseena Backer, the rest you will know as you go by.
2. What made you decide to pursue this career? What was your inspiration?
I didn’t decide to pursue this career, this career decided to pursue me.
When my daughter Mahek was born and I was going through the trial and error period of parenting, I always reflected on how different my parenting was from my mother’s. To begin with I parented just like my mother, and then it dawned on me that my daughter is generations apart from me so the same parenting methodology won’t work with her. I made changes to the blueprint my mother handed down to me which was probably a legacy from my maternal grandmother. I saw remarkable difference in my parenting approach henceforth and my little one was also responding better. The secret I realized lay in the fact that I had to set myself on a parenting track that suited the emotional developmental requirements of my girl. Initially getting into that rhythm was tough as my mother’s parenting knowledge in me constantly sabotaged my tried and tested formula. But once I was on track it was easier to keep myself from derailing.
Then I thought if it worked for me, why wouldn’t it work for others too? There was a lot of parenting issues going on in the society that had no solution. Parents blaming the current generation and the children shaming their parents but not reaching at an amicable solution.Thus I decided to share my tips with them. So I slowly got into parenting counseling and talks. It was well accepted by the parents. Social media played a great role in taking my profession know across the globe.
The need to parent my child consciously was my inspiration to get here. The want to be a calm parent was the inspiration.
3. What is a day in a life of you like?how do you do it all?
I have quite a planned day. I am an early riser and could be as early as 4 am also. Sometimes a meditation to begin with (not regular), occasionally a yoga regime with chances of sleeping back on the yoga mat.If I am working from home the morning goes in cooking and sending my girl to school. By 9 am I on my work table and am there till my girl returns. Once Mahek is back from school then begins my parenting till she sleeps. I spend half an hour listening to her school stories. I sit around as she does her homework. We watch some TV together. Then I take her to bed where we read stories. Then I am back to my work where I do my writing till mid night.
Working from home also means catering to kitchen, guests, housekeeping and some amount of laziness. Plenty of surprises creep into my well planned day destroying my plans. I travel extensively on work and when I travel on work it’s a 9-4 job. With the evenings for retail therapy (shopping) and meeting friends.
4. What are the parenting strategies that you implement on your daughter?
I don’t implement anything on her. Parenting strategies are implemented on me. It’s a misconception that parenting is all about fixing children. Children aren’t broken to be fixed. Parenting is all about equipping parents to be aware of what is the need of the child and respond and act according to that need. Therefore the strategies are for parents.
5. What are the common problems faced by today’s parents that you have solved? Give us some examples of the day-to-day processes you maintain as a therapist.
It is interesting to note that parents of the current generation are highly concerned about the emotional well-being of their children. Most of the problems are dealt at an emotional level. Psychology has become a pertinent part of parenting and this is a good sign. Parents come with toddler tantrum issues, wishes to know how to deal teenage tantrums, discipline issues, separation anxiety, borderline depression and many more. There are very prevailing issues like lack of interest in studies, internet addiction, and computer games compulsion.
6. Do you have a special focus/specialization in your practice?
I mainly focus on communication of the parents with their children. Most of the parenting breakdown happens because of communication gap and not generation gap. When parents are given communication techniques, then relationships at home become better. It’s not an easy to task to take a call on your communication skills that you are born with, but parents are willing to make a change in that also to get into conscious parenting.
7. What personal qualities do you think you have, to become a successful parenting consultant?
I don’t know on what parameters the success of a parenting consultant is gauged. The fact that I am still around as a professional and enjoying every bit of it, is success according to me. Success also lies in reinventing different ways of addressing parenting to the audience. Workshops, seminars, talks, TV shows, blogging, articles in magazines and book writing.
8. What do you like to do for fun (any hobbies, activities etc)?
I write and love doing it. Now I don’t know if that could be completely qualified in the area of hobbies because for some of the writing I do get paid also. I read a lot without getting paid a penny for doing it on a daily basis. Cooking is de-stress for me and I enjoy doing it. I love to travel and learn culture.
You can read Jaseena and her Daughter Mehek’s conversation series here
9. How do you reach your clients and with whom all you have worked until now?
A lot of my clients are my readers on social media. I also have a lot of clients approaching me after watching my TV programmes or reading my blogs. Other than that I do marketing of my service also.
10. Suggest an idea or a trick that has made your parenting easier 🙂
I haven’t categories parenting into easier or tougher because my child isn’t an examination for me. For me parenting is my lifestyle now, once she was born in 2007 there is no second without her in my thought and life.
There are things that have helped me in my parenting. I have a lot of patience to listen to her. I make sure I communicate with her what I am doing for her and why I am doing for her. “I am your mother so just listen to me because whatever I do is right and the best for you” isn’t part of my parenting dictionary. She has the freedom to ask me and question me and I am accountable to answer.
I give importance to her opinions and views and we together work through problems. I don’t do everything for her just to make things faster and better. I make sure she does whatever she can even if it’s a mistake then we go around looking at it for changes and betterment.
11. What is next for you?
I was able to create a lot of awareness in parenting the past five years. Now I am moving into writing and publishing.
You can read Jaseena and her Daughter Mehek’s conversation series here
Thanks a lot Jaseena for taking time for Dr.MomZine from your busy schedule!!